The Shift from Ego to Service. And How Giving, Not Getting, Becomes the Source of Real Fulfillment.

For most of my life, I didn’t ask:
How can I be of service?

I asked:
- How do I excel?
- How do I stand out?
- How do I matter?

Success, impact, legacy - these were the engines beneath everything I did.
And it worked.
Externally.

But internally, something always felt… unfinished.
As if no matter what I achieved, the ground kept moving.

In recent years - especially as I came closer to the realities of aging, limitation, and the quiet spaces between roles - the question began to shift:

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐛𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬?

This is not humility.
Not self-erasure.
Not moral virtue.

It is the recognition that the ego’s project - to become someone, to be remembered - is built on a misunderstanding:

That there is a separate “self” to defend.

Neuroscience shows that this “self” is not a thing. It is a continuously updated mental model - useful, but not who we are.

When we believe it is real, we spend our lives protecting it:
achievement → significance → legacy → grasping for permanence.

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞.
We are sentient beings in relationship with all life, part of one fabric of existence.

As Jane Goodall said:
“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦.”

And here is the paradox:
The more we tighten around ego, the less whole we feel.
The more we shift toward service, the more alive we become.

This is well researched:
Giving and supporting others activates brain networks associated with connection, meaning, and well-being - far more sustainably than power, achievement, or acquisition.

Service is not sacrifice.
It is alignment with what we already are.

We will all be forgotten.
Even the great ones.
This is not tragic.

Because what remains is not our name - but the trace we leave in other lives:

• The courage we strengthened.
• The dignity we protected.
• The humanity we honored.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐜𝐲.

So the question I am living now is simple:
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 - 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞?

Not to my image.
Not to my success.
Not to my legacy.

But to life itself.

If something moves in you as you read this - stay with it.
Not as a concept.
As a direction.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰?

And who might you become, if you let that question lead?