Iโm saying this plainly because I see it far too often in my work with senior executives.
Brilliant people.
Highly accomplished.
Convinced they are already โdeeply developedโ.
And yet many are ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ง ๐๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฆ๐ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ง๐ฌ they had years - sometimes decades - ago.
The blind spot is massive.
What I encounter is rarely a lack of intelligence or reflection.
Itโs something more subtle and more dangerous:
Leaders who speak fluently about purpose, mindfulness, even shadow work,
while their leadership is still driven by
control disguised as clarity,
dominance disguised as decisiveness,
distance disguised as calm.
The pattern hasnโt changed.
Only the story about it has.
Developmental science is very clear.
Research on adult development (e.g. ๐๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ต ๐๐ฆ๐จ๐ข๐ฏ) shows that ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ง๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ง๐ฌ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ง๐๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ข๐๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ ๐ฆ๐๐๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ .
They gain experience.
They gain authority.
But their inner operating system stays the same.
More power - not more freedom.
More responsibility - not more perspective.
๐๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ข๐.
๐๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐ฏ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ.
Midlife is not a natural upgrade.
As ๐. ๐. ๐๐ถ๐ฏ๐จ already pointed out, it is a crisis of identity.
When status and achievement lose their grip, the ego doesnโt soften by default.
Without conscious shadow work, it tightens.
Control increases.
Certainty hardens.
Ambiguity tolerance shrinks.
What leaders call โmaturityโ often looks like ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ข๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ.
Long-term studies, including the Harvard research led by ๐๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ณ๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ช๐ญ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต, show:
๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐จ๐๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐๐ ๐ - ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐๐ฌ.
Thatโs why one sentence worries me more than most:
โIโve already done my inner work.โ
No, youโve understood it conceptually.
๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐ฏ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐๐๐ฅ๐.
๐๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ข๐๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ.
It confronts control, fear of irrelevance, dependency on admiration.
So the real question for senior leaders is not:
How experienced am I?
But:
๐๐ก๐ข๐๐ก ๐ฉ๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ง ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ง๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ -
๐๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ข๐ญ?
And if youโre a seasoned leader and feel thereโs more - more depth, more freedom, more truth -
then reach out.
Thatโs where the real work begins.